Funny Mummy | Kathy Buckworth

Show me the money, Mommy.

Two of my kids have Post It notes stuck to the fridge which read “Money Mom Owes Me.” The irony of this is not lost when I’ve know that the average cost of raising a child in Canada is approximately $300,000. That’s for one child. As the volume of children go up, the cost per child drops, presumably because of some shared expenses and hand me downs.

With four kids, money rarely physically stays on my person for more than a minute.  It comes directly from the ATM, barely touching down into my wallet, before it goes out to the waiting hands of a retail merchant, school secretary, orthodontal receptionist, bored hockey rink attendant, or the outstretched arm poking from a fast food window. (Please note that none of these expenses can be shared between children. I’ve tried to negotiate used braces, trust me.)

My children are very aware of what “It’s too expensive” means (they have heard me say it approximately 2.7 million times, sometimes in reference to the mere existence of a younger sibling), whether it’s the twoonie for the vending machine which spews out a five cent plastic ring, all the way up to some coveted $200 running shoes.  Not that this stops them from asking me for these and other things, over and over again. Part of me gives them credit (not literally) for continuing to ask for more and more.  Their eternal optimism is impressive, if not hopelessly misguided and futile.

I feel like parents today seem to have more expenses than previous generations did.  I think this is partly because of safety concerns, but also it’s also somewhat due to our own gullibility in believing what they really “need”.  Some of the things I spend money on for my children that I’d  like to cut back on include: the “indoor runners”, a different helmet for each of the head-cracking activities my kids are involved in, the endless supply of Slushies which every hockey arena offers, $10 mandatory school agendas, postage-stamp-sized-games for handheld electronic units which are only “unlost” for the first two hours, the “book orders” which come home from school but have more computer games and plush toys than books on order, and every piece of overpriced merchandise that features a talking sponge or a transforming truck.  Throw in all of the organized sports’ fees (including the amount which goes to cover the “trophies for all” strategy), and it’s not hard to do the math on why I find myself eyeing up their piggy banks and occasionally borrowing from them.

The only comfort I have is knowing that by the time they become parents themselves, there will likely be 16 more types of helmets they’ll have to buy for their own kids. And I’m not extending or expecting any credit for that.


Kathy’s latest book “I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family The “Business” will be published by Random House in Spring, 2013.  It is available for pre-order now at Chapters and Amazon.com. Follow Kathy on Twitter @KathyBuckworth

 

Comments

  1. Soozle says

    Oh wow! $300,000?!? I never really stopped to think about how much it DOES cost to raise a child. Very eye opening indeed!

  2. Cheryl Morreale (@loucheryl) says

    I do agree that feel like parents today have more expenses than previous generations did. My mom was a SAHM and most mom’s now work just to keep up.

  3. Victoria Ess says

    I definitely think that there are more expenses associated with children nowadays. I think about how my mother refused to get me most non-necessities and how much it bothered me THEN but I survived.. I look at children now and they have so many gadgets and toys, etc… it must be hard to refuse, as a parent, these seeming non-necessities that may factor into your child’s social self-esteem.

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